How to "Go Deeper" in a T-Group: The Advanced Practice

We begin T-Group practice by learning to identify and articulate our feelings as they unfold from moment-to-moment, but feelings are just the tip of the iceberg. As we learn to “go deeper,” we start to inquire into the hidden inner processes that generate those feelings, and by extension, the rest of our experience as well. This is how we “wake up” to what we are doing, not just what we are feeling, and this new awareness is what allows us to do things differently and choose new experiences.

What are you DOING

  • Attributing – we attribute qualities to one another based on observable cues (eg. facial expression, vocal tone and volume, clothing, body shape, gender, age, race, speech patterns, etc.).
  • Anticipating – we anticipate having very specific kinds of experiences and interactions with each person, also based on observable cues (eg. kindness, understanding, openness, judgment, misunderstanding, conflict, etc.).

Attributing and anticipating form the EXPECTATIONS we bring to relationships. They often form within the first thirty seconds of meeting someone new, and they have a huge impact on how the interaction unfolds. Expectations organize our interpretations and behavior, and then we tend to get the very results we expected in the first place. 


I notice that in response to _______, I am attributing ______ to you. 

And what I'm doing in response is  _______.

I notice that in response to _______, I anticipate experiencing _______ in connection with you. 

And what I'm doing in response is _______.

In your presence, I become a more ________ version of myself. 


More Variations on The Practice

  • If I was going to feel scared in our connection, I imagine it would most likely be because you _____. My strategy for preventing this would be to ______.
  • If you were going to feel scared in our connection, I imagine it would likely be because I ______. When I imagine you feeling scared by this, I respond by  ______.
  • If I was going to feel hurt in our connection, I imagine it would most likely be because you ______. My strategy for preventing this would be to _____.
  • If you were going to feel hurt in our connection, I imagine it would likely be because I ______. When I imagine you feeling hurt by this, I respond by ______.
  • The way I imagine you would most likely have a positive impact on me would be ______. When I imagine receiving this positive impact from you, I respond by ________.
  • As I compare myself to you, what I notice is __________. When I perceive this difference, what happens in me is ________, and I respond by _________.
  • What has me hold back in or connection is my anticipation that ________. What has me come further into connection with you is my anticipation that _________.

Though our “self” seems continuous to us, in reality it is re-constellated whenever we connect with a new person/group. Going deeper also involves becoming more aware of the version of you that’s showing up, the observable cues you are responding to, and the impact it has on how interactions unfold.

  • I notice that in your presence, _____ parts of me come into the foreground, while _____ parts of me recede into the background.

  • As I connect with you, I notice that I am becoming more _______, and less _______, and I am doing this in response to _______.
  • When I connect with you, the body sensation I notice the most is ________. If the sensation could speak, it would say __________.
  • What puts me at ease with you is _________.
  • What has me tightening in connection with you is _________ .
  • When I imagine looking at myself from the outside, I see a person who is ________. One thing that’s going on inside him/her that you can’t see on the outside is _______. One thing that’s going on inside him/her that even they don’t know about fully is ______.
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T-Group 2.0 Advanced Practices by Crystallin Dillon, MA is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.