Do we live in an intelligent, loving, densely interconnected universe that calls for openness, surrender, and "going with the flow?" Or do we live in a giant game of legos just waiting for us to build the castles exactly as we'd like them? Whatever you choose, the implications are huge in regards to how you live your life and the results you will see.
What's most true for me is that they're both true and I don't want to choose. I want to live in a loving, intelligent universe that invites me to relax my thinking mind and allow miracles WAY bigger than I could plan to unfurl themselves. I have to snap when David Whyte says, "What you can plan is too small for you to live." I crave the sense of being deeply, divinely connected to all that is, of being guided by what is actually just my own soul speaking to me from the dimension of myself that transcends appearances like time and space. I know I have a soul and I know it has somewhat of an agenda, which is always in my highest good no matter what it may feel like in the moment. I believe that we're all taking part in something that is Basically Good, so I treat it as such. God or no God, I see that this approach to life leaves me with tremendous Hope about Life. I hear hope is good for your health, so there's that.
But then there's this other thing that's true: we have CHOICE and we're riddled with intense feelings that compel us to reach for certain things and to run like hell from others. It's not wrong to want things, in fact I think that this wanting is PART of my soul's agenda, not a side show, a hindrance, or an illusion. Furthermore, if you have it that you don't have the right to want things and aren't worthy of receiving them in the first place, it's highly unlikely that you'll even SEE the opportunities that DO manage to get through to you. Our thoughts, our words, our intentions, and our actions ARE powerful and they DO impact how things unfold. Equally important is learning to when to set boundaries and say "No," no matter what the consequences might be. So there must be an active, directive counterpart to the receptive, the yang to the yin, so learning to inhabit and wield this power is also part of our task in this life.
So this is where I live, sandwiched (or perhaps hugged) right in between these two forces, with deep longing to submit and be ravished by life and an equally fierce thrust to create, to build, to wield my power for good in this world. It's not a bad place to be, actually it's sounding kind of hot now that I think about it. But it doesn't always feel that way. So I have two questions for you.
What do YOU want?
What does LIFE want for you?
In rare, fleeting moments, I catch a glimpse of the way in which these are actually the same question. But most of our waking life is spent in the space in between. So let's play. I invite you to come dance with me in that pregnant space in between.