This event took place in 2019, and I hope to be offering Online T-Group Speed Dating very soon! Make sure to get all the invites and updates by joining the mailing list or by following me on facebook.
T-Group Speed Dating is a chance to…
Bypass the small talk,
Get better at establishing meaningful connections with people you don’t know,
Lean into the practice of sharing yourself with courage and vulnerability,
Let go of who you think you need to be in order to be loved,
Experience the emotional nourishment that comes from deeper, more authentic connection,
And gain some some powerful tools for communicating and relating in the process.
You’ll leave feeling opened up, connected, and maybe a bit shaky, but in the way that lets you know you’re alive and growing. You’ll probably have some new insights about yourself, and some new ideas for how to create more of these meaningful experiences in the rest of your life. And a bit later, you can drop me a note to let me know who you’d like to be connected with, either as friends and/or for a first date. I’ll connect you privately if the feeling is mutual.
The format of the T-Group Speed Dating events continues to evolve, and this time is no different! The one-on-one practices I developed a few months ago were a huge hit. They’re also an easier, gentler introduction to the practice for those of you who are new, so we’ll keep those. But there will be some new surprises in store as well.
Age Range?
I don’t put an age limit or range on these events, because it is just as much about gathering in community and practicing T-Group as it is about connecting people for friendship and first dates. That being said, the majority of folks who come are somewhere between the mid-thirties and the mid-forties (though there are always a group of folks above and below that average!). All who would like to attend are welcome!
My Own Story of T-Group and Dating…
I was fresh out of graduate school when I discovered the T-Group community in Boulder, Colorado, and I hardly missed a week for over two years. I held Sunday nights sacred, and the practice transformed my life-long patterns of self-judgment and self-criticism into a capacity to fully love myself and find something to love in literally anyone else.
Around the same time that I discovered T-Group, I also decided to take my first stab at online dating. So when I found myself on a first date, nervous as hell but also bored out of my mind, I decided to just… T-Group.
What ensued changed both of our lives.
In making what felt like a wildly risky and vulnerable move, I chose to Reveal myself and speak to what was actually true in my experience at that moment (the kinds of things I’d usually kept under wraps in order to seem “normal” and be “polite”). A previously dull and disconnected experience instantly transformed into an exchange that was potent and alive, and we shifted into a level of depth that was true and meaningful and significant to both of us.
And when he chose to Reveal himself in return, he learned that his raw, unadulterated truth was actually what opened my heart and turned me on the most. This experience set him off on a many-years-long journey of self-reclamation and self-empowerment (one that I only learned about years later, when I ran into him and completely didn’t recognize him and would totally have dated him if I hadn’t been only visiting).
So I’ve designed these T-Group Speed Dating events to:
Pass along the powerful transformation and empowerment that T-Group practice offers,
Help to connect people who have similar values, interests, and desires, and
Point the way to that potency and aliveness so that we can have more magic and intimacy in dating, no matter the outcome.
My hope is that you will meet some interesting people (yourself included) and gain the skills that will empower you to transform both your experience of dating and the results you get from it.
Inclusivity
Due to the limitations of group rotation design, this event optimizes for creating connections between male-identified and female-identified people. If it were possible to structure the rotations so that every person could simply meet every other person (regardless of gender or sexual orientation), then I would absolutely do that! Unfortunately, it’s either not possible to have all new people in every group, every round, or I do not possess the mathematical skill to figure it out (though not for lack of trying!). If you would like to see an LGBTQ T-Group Speed Dating event, please reach out to me - I will happily create it once we have enough people for it to work :-)
For my non-binary friends, like I said above, this event optimizes for creating connections between male-identified and female-identified individuals. The male-identified folks will be meeting all the female-identified folks, so if you also want to meet the female-identified folks, just snag a male-identified ticket. And likewise, the female-identified folks will be meeting all the male-identified folks, so if you want to meet those folks, just snag a female-identified ticket.
Register Here
If tickets sell out, send me a message using the Facebook box below. You will hear from me only if a spot opens up!
Questions? Join the Wait List?
About T-Group
T-Group is a practice of authentic communication designed to cultivate self-awareness, relational skillfulness, and synergistic group dynamics. It allows you to…
Learn to establish new connections with confidence and ease, using the power of Authenticity and Vulnerability
Unravel patterns of insecurity, shame, and self-aggression
Overcome the social anxiety or awkwardness that results in loneliness and isolation
Experience the emotional nourishment of deeper Connection and a sense of Belonging
Discover more effective ways to negotiate through differences and navigate conflict in relationships
Receive real-time feedback about how others experience you, and the kinds of responses you elicit from them
Learn to give feedback in ways that can actually be heard
Gain greater access to your feelings and needs, and learn to articulate them more effectively
Practice communicating your boundaries in clear, consistent ways that elicit others’ understanding and respect
T-Group is essentially a mindfulness practice. Just like meditation or yoga, it cultivates the same qualities of self-awareness, presence, embodiment, and so on. But instead of working alone on a cushion or a mat, in T-Group, we *apply* these skills to the real-time process of communicating and relating with other people. This method of communication may be very different from what you're used to, so it will likely involve a learning curve when you're just starting out.
As we collectively take the risk to Reveal what’s actually happening between us, right here in the present moment, we begin to make discoveries about our habitual, unconscious patterns in relationship and in groups. Perhaps your pattern is that you tend to feel on the "outside," no matter what group you're part of. Or perhaps you're the one who tends to serve as the "lightning rod," drawing the tension and frustration of the group towards yourself whether you want it or not. Patterns can also be found in the roles we habitually assume in groups. Are you the caretaker or are you the instigator? The silent observer or the harmonizer? And lastly, we can find patterns in the ways we automatically respond to things like silence, eye contact, conflict, receiving others' attention/appreciation, or witnessing others' difficult emotions.
Whatever your patterns may be, the T-Group process will invite you into deeper intimacy with yourself and show you how to articulate your inner experience with the kind of authenticity that opens the door to deeper connection and intimacy with others.
This practice also offers you the rare opportunity to receive real-time feedback from others not only about your impact on them, but on the kinds of responses you repeatedly elicit FROM them: because who people become in your presence can say as much about you as it does about them.
The structure of T-Group will also teach you new ways to give feedback to others about the impact they have on you, and you will learn how to communicate that impact ways that elicit others’ understanding and cooperation. This will help to build the skills that are necessary when it comes time to navigate the more difficult passages of relationship like differences and conflict.
T-Group is a living mirror that can reflect you back to yourself so that you can see yourself through others’ eyes and make discoveries about how you impact the world. T-Group is also a laboratory where you can experiment with new ways of being and relating, and learn about the different kinds of results they yield. This awareness will give you the freedom and power to create the kind of connection and intimacy we all want and need. It will help to heal the parts of you that feel unworthy of love and belonging, and it will teach you new ways of expressing and communicating that let you feel seen and heard for who you really are.
The Vision Statement of the Bay Area T-Group Community
"We are here to create a Practice Community based on deep connection and authenticity, built on foundations of respect and goodwill, where all parts of us are welcome and our differences are appreciated as resources. We are also here to gain self-awareness around our habitual patterns and roles, limiting beliefs and strategies, and repetitive experiences in groups. But ultimately, we are here to re-weave the web of the human community, to remember that we are not separate and that we belong to and with one another."
I am organizing this event because I love T-Group with my whole heart. I was part of the T-Group community in Boulder, Colorado for over two years, and I am a living testament to the power of this practice. I bring a lot of prior education, training, and practice to leading this community, but I want to keep these gatherings as accessible as possible - because it was free for me and it changed my life perhaps more than anything else ever has.
“Most misunderstandings in the world could be avoided if people would simply take the time to ask, ‘What else could this mean?’” ~Shannon L. Alder
“Each of us lacks awareness of certain aspects of our own behavior or feelings which others can clearly see, which is another reason why human interaction is the most challenging and rewarding adventure that we can experience” ~Joseph Luft
“The consciousness in you and the consciousness in me, apparently two, really one, seek unity and that is love.” ~Nisargadatta Maharaj
"We do not exist for ourselves alone, and it is only when we are fully convinced of this fact that we begin to love ourselves properly and thus also love others." ~Thomas Merton
T-Group 2.0 Description by Crystallin Dillon, MA is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.