Diversity & Inclusion @ T-Group
In the context of T-Group, the first, most fundamental expression of inclusion is that the right to participate in the group will never be denied or revoked on the basis of group identity: race, ethnicity, gender identity, gender expression, religion, sexual orientation, physical ability, age, economic status, etc.
Within the group process itself, inclusion means that no voice, expression, or experience has any greater or lesser right to exist, so long as they are abiding by the ground rules of our community.
Non-inclusion happens in a group when certain voices are given less space, less credence, less validity, or less respect than others. Some voices are more frequently dismissed, “corrected,” not believed, or minimized (often the voices of people from marginalized groups), while other voices are seen as more authoritative, legitimate, truthful, even more real than others (often the voices of people from privileged groups). To dismiss, minimize, or challenge the legitimacy of another person’s voice violates our ground rule of refraining from dehumanization because it communicates, “The human experience you are expressing right now is less important, less valid, and less trustable than others.”
So inclusion as an ongoing, daily practice is something like this: all voices and all experiences are granted the same level of credence, validity, and respect. Especially in T-Group, where the only thing we’re talking about are our own experiences (our thoughts, feelings, wants, and impulses), it is even more obvious that all experiences are equally subjective, yet equally valid. No voice and no experience is any “truer” than any other.
One of the most common examples of non-inclusion, one that is very important to the intersection of T-Group and Diversity & Inclusion is this: when members of marginalized or non-dominant social groups speak about the things they’re noticing and feeling, and invite the group to consider that certain social dynamics might be at play in the group (things like unconscious bias and prejudice, micro-aggressions, centering the experience of privileged persons, or any form of dehumanization), they are often rebuked and shut down by others who are essentially saying, “Your experience isn’t totally true, correct, or valid.” This is dehumanizing, and whether it's intended or not, if it's coming from a member of a privileged group and directed towards a member of a marginalized group, it replicates the patterns of society-wide oppressions like racism, sexism, homophobia, and so on.
I go into a lot more depth about these topics in the course Masterful Relating. But I can share with all of you the guidelines I offer everyone when we find ourselves navigating these waters in a T-Group:
For members of socially dominant groups (white, male, heterosexual, gender conforming, able bodied, neurologically normative, etc):
Understand that we have been programmed and socialized from day one to see certain kinds of people as better than others: more valuable, more trustworthy, more powerful, more good, more right, etc. This can be a tough pill to swallow, because you do not consciously hold the belief that you’re better than anyone and you know that that’s immoral. What I’m pointing to here are deep, unconscious biases that we absorbed from every angle of our environment when we were too young to know any better. As children, we had no choice about this, and yet, we are now the adults who are responsible for these unconscious biases, as well as the impact they have on others. A lack of intent does not nullify the impact.
When someone is offering you feedback that in some way implicates your group membership (eg. your whiteness, maleness, heterosexuality, etc), the most useful way to interpret the feedback is that they are inviting you to consider that your unconscious biases and prejudices MIGHT be at play in the current dynamic. This isn’t someone saying, “You ARE a racist,” or, “You ARE a sexist.” They are saying, “You MAY have a blind spot here. I’m inviting you to investigate that possibility by giving you the chance to see yourself through my eyes.” It can be painful and frightening to receive this feedback (though it definitely doesn’t have to be), but it is ultimately an act of generosity and support on their part. That person is going out on a limb in an attempt to alert you to an important possibility and an opportunity to grow in your empathy and ally-ship.
For members of socially non-dominant groups (BIPOC, LGBTQ, gender non-conforming, differently abled, neuro-divergent, etc):
One of the key tenets of T-Group practice is that we step out of bounds when we attempt to tell someone else what is happening within their mind, heart, or body, when we imagine that we could somehow possess that kind of authority when it comes to their experience. I don’t believe that we can have that kind of absolute authority over anything other than ourselves. But it turns out that expressing our own experience is a powerful form of feedback, one that is more likely to yield positive results. If you give feedback in a way that illuminates what you are seeing, how you are making sense of it inside your own head, and how you’re feeling about it all, you can allow another person to step into your shoes momentarily and see themselves through your eyes. Odds are good that if they could see and feel things as you do, they would have an “aha” moment that would show them how to shift their behavior. It is an invitation that says something like, “Hey, I noticed that you [state the observable, objective fact; something like, “You didn’t respond to what she said at all”], and that’s a pattern between men and women that I have seen and experienced directly a lot in my life, so it brings up all those memories and a lot of anger and sadness. I believe that in general, this behavior is linked to our human legacy of sexism, and what I’m wanting right now is for all of us to consider the possibility that this dynamic might be at play between us right now.”
Also, keep in mind the reality of internalized oppression: the ways that we’ve internalized cultural messages that we are somehow less valid and less valuable as members of a marginalized group, and can exert an oppressive force against ourselves without realizing it. One of the most common examples of this is called “double consciousness,” which is the habit of always monitoring what you say and do from an external perspective, usually the perspective of members of privileged/dominant groups. I share a lot more about internalized oppression in the course, and it’s something you can find ample resources for online as well.